It's raining

Hi it's raining cats and dog now
And i feel so calm.
I hope it will be raining till tomorrow morning.

I just get back from my lebay broken hearted.
I completely fine now.
I forgive and feel nothing about him now.

Lately i'm enjoy my life so much, nothing to be worry about.
I find my peace. 

And this raining sounds made my day!
What a wonderful night.

I hope you all also find your peace.
Have a good nite good people!

PS : 3rd July 2017 이상훈.

To Forgive and to Forget

It's raining hard outside and it makes me wanna write something.

I feel much better since yesterday, but still trying hard.

I have to be gratefull more and appreciate my life.

I must learn how to forgive and to forget. 

All of my life, I always proud to say that : "I can forgive but i can't forget"

And now i realize that, it's not a thing i should proud of.

It's still raining outside, and it makes me feel better. Thank you God for the rain, and please help me to learn how to forgive and to forget.

Good night Universe, i'll tell you how to forgive and to forget if i already know how.

Should i say good night to SJS? Or GY?

(Kekeke someone will complaint if she read this)

Selamat malam temans, selamat tidur.

郝秀菁

Everything is gonna be OKAY

Title dari postingan ini adalah salah satu kalimat dari Homili Romo hari ini. (Sekali-kali ah posting yang kerohanian).

Homili Romo hari ini pas banget sama doa2 yang akhir ini tiap malam g doakan.
Yaitu "Yesus jangan pernah tinggalkan aku".
Kata Romo, Yesus menjawab : " Apapun yang terjadi, ku kan slalu ada untukmu. Janganlah kau bersedih, coz everything is gonna be OKAY".
(G pernah denger kalimat ini itu lirik lagu.. tapi kagak tau lagu nya sapa, pas nulis postingan ini g sambil googling donk.. ternyata lagu nya Bondan P kekekek)

I feel better today, g merasa di jawab doa2 g sama Tuhan hari ini.
Meskipun g belum bisa ngelupain si sapa itu namanya? Dedemit (g memutuskan memanggil dia dedemit.. karena ngilang gitu aja) 100%, but i feel much better.
Ternyata banyak orang di sekeliling g yang sayang sama g, dan selalu support g.
Gak mao kalah sama Grammy winner, i would like to say Thank to :

1. Tuhan Yesus yang selalu dampingin g dan ga pernah ninggalin g.
2. Maria Hani Prasetio yang selalu nemenin g dari sejak kasus ini naek ke permukaan, dan ga pernah ninggalin g sehari pun kekeke.
3. V. Mahdlina a.k.a Lina yang udah dengerin curhatan g sabtu2 siang bolong dan selalu support g.
4. Melissa Budiman a.k.a padang yang selalu ngertiin g, meskipun sampe skrg dia ga tau cerita detailnya padahal udah di invite di group baru tapi dia gak sadar.
5. Grace Ratnasari a.k.a Ge yang selalu support juga dan selalu concern sama kesusahan g, thanks Ge udah nawarin nangis.
6. Frenki Sen a.k.a acui yang selalu ngeledekin g, meski g tau dia benernya concern dan nurut untuk tidak nanya apa2 pas g blg i really appreciate it if you didnt ask me about dedemit.
7. Momzie yang sangat pengertian dan tau anaknya lagi sedih, hanya nanya 1 pertanyaan setelah dijawab singkat dia diem, dan gak nanya lebih lanjut. Sorry momz for always bikin you khawatir.
8. My Sista Ekta a.k.a hamcoi, yang g yakin sebenernya penasaran setengah mati, tapi dia menahan dengan sangat untuk tidak secara jelas nanya langsung ke g. Thanks sis and your fam, udah nemenin g juga full nginep di rumah sejak kejadian itu dan pas banget g di tinggal Momzie jalan2 ke cina. (And I know u also have struggled before. worst than me, but you are the best woman i've ever know besides our momzie ofcourse, i'm so proud of you sis).

Dan hari ini juga g baru sadar bahwa Tuhan itu sayang banget ke g, meskipun g masih selalu nakal dan nakal, Tuhan selalu jawab doa2 g, Tuhan selalu kasih peringatan ke g.
Dengan adanya kejadian ini, g diingetin sama Tuhan bahwa dedemit bukan yang terbaik buat g, begitu pula sebaliknya.
Dengan adanya kejadian ini, Tuhan tidak membiarkan g jatuh terlalu jauh, di awal2 udah dikasih tau, g gak bisa bayangin kalau semuanya terlambat.. oh Tuhan terima kasih, sudah diingetin dan dikasih tau di awal.

Sekarang g sadar, bahwa bener kata si Unknown "Everything is happen for a reason".

Malam ini g berdoa khusus buat orang yang menderita luka batin, karena ditinggal begitu ajah sama suami nya. (My dear friend yang jauh disana, sorry i just know about that today, sorry for not be beside you when u struggling with your problem, i hope you can forgive him and be strong my dear friend, and sorry for cannot help you)
But i promise to my self, i will always say a prayer for you and your family.

Semoga tidak ada lagi orang2 yang luka batinnya, dan semoga mereka yang mengalami luka batin disembuhkan. Amin.

Good night good people!

郝秀菁

Brokentut

Hi, it's me... (who else?)

I'm in broken heart mode on.
Yes i'm a broken hearted girl now.
I'm falling in love with a Korean programmer (he is a guy, not a gay, but lately i found out that he is not morethan a coward jerk, not a jerky).

We met on tagged.
He meets my criteria, so did I.
We like each other (so far i think so).
Not morethan a month he decided to come to my country just to meet me.
Everything is good.
Everything is great. (I do think so)
We have chemistry, we like each other (i still think we do).
Till he go back to his country.
Everything seems faded.
Everything seems fake.
He said he is so fucking busy.
He promised to chat on Sat night, but it never happen.
Maybe he afraid to continue the LDR? or yeah, right.... he is just a coward jerk.

He say nothing.
He is gone.
He is gone with the wind.
He left me.
He fucked up.
(Eiiy pardon my bad word, broken hearted woman is allowed to say bad word riteee??? Riteeeee.)
He is just a damn fuckin' coward.

Now, I struggling to get over him.
Why??? He just fucked up, why i need to struggling to get over him? Isn't it easy to get rid of him since he is an asshole?
No babe, you're wrong.. it isn't easy.. believe me. It isn't easy at all..

Lesson learned : 
1. Don't believe in a programmer
2. Don't believe in a Korean
3. Don't believe in a man who know u just for 1 month
4. Don't believe in a man who you know from dating app (even he fly miles away just to meet you)
5. Just believe in GOD.

Amen and have a good night.

PS : i'll be okay
I'll be okay soon
I WILL BE OKAY!

i'll be back soon with a silly and happy story.
Yes, i'm in stupidly in love with him and broken hearted at the same time.
This is just a PS, why it so long?
I have to go sleep.
Please pray for me.
Help me to get rid of him from all my senses, my heart, my deepest heart, my soul, my mind, and my brain.
Well, at least i already get rid of him from my handphone! (Good job, Sko!)
I can do it!

郝秀菁~

배장환 에게

안녕.. 이제 나야..
이 문자는 읽었으면 해...
무슨 일이 생길까봐 걱정을 했는데 잘 있길 바래. 
혹시 너한테 잘못한게 있으면 진심으로 사과할께. 
근데 만일 나랑 다시 안 보기로 결정했으면 받아드릴께.
다른 이유가 있다고 믿을께. 
잘 살아라고 해줄게. 
근데 계속 친구 됐으면 해 가끔이라도 문자로 안부 인사도 하고 그래. 
이 메시지를 귀찮게 하면 정말 미안해.
그동안 고마웠어. 안녕.

난 지금 안괜찮아 하지만 괜찮을 거야.

잘자~

Happy is a choice

Don't forget to make yourself Happy.
No matter what.
We can be sad, but dont let the sadness drag you down.
Get up and make yourself Happy!

Good night good people!
Good night Bae!

His name is 배장환

Akhir-akhir ini, tepatnya sejak kenal dia, g merasa kehilangan akal sehat g.
Siapa sih dia? Cowo Korea yang g kenal via Tagged (aplikasi dating online gitu deh, tapi kita ga dating seh, kenalan doank)
Dari awal nya chat sehari 1 kalimat, sampai ngobrol panjang lebar, sampai akhirnya video call-an berjam-jam, dan akhirnya dia memutuskan untuk dateng ke Jakarta buat ketemu sama g.

Senang? So pasti pake banget, karena ini cowo memegang hampir semua dari kriteria cowo idaman g yang pernah g tulis di postingan sekitar bulan Maret gitu ( Baca disini )
Tapi, g jadi seperti orang lain, bukan seperti diri g sendiri.
Sejak tau dia mao dateng g jadi galau sendiri, maklum kita orang yang bergolongan darah A semua-semua nya di pikirin sampe detail.. gak bisa santai kita mah orang nya.
Dari 6 temen g yang g ceritain tentang dia dan kekhawatiran g mau ketemu dia tanggal 12 Mei 2017 nanti, semua nya pada bilang santai aja, jadi ya syukur, klo ga jadi ya udah life must go on, mau apa lagi?
Toh lu belum ketemu dia, siapa tau setelah lu ketemu dia, lu yang gak suka sama dia..
Well, bisa jadi sih, tapi tipis kemungkinan.
Ya mungkin aja g ga tahan sama sikap cuek nya dia.. tapi ya liat aja deh nanti.
Satu lagi bilang, jalanin aja dulu, toh kalau ternyata nanti jadi, lebih banyak masalah yang harus dipikirin.. secara beda nationality... nngggg g langsung jiper..

Well, sampai hari ini g galau abis, dari tanggal 25 April dia memutuskan untuk beli tiket dateng ke Jakarta, sampai malam ini, g gak napsu makan, gak napsu kerja (ini sering sih bukan hanya karena dia mo dateng), gak napsu nonton drakor (because now i have my own drakor.. tjiyeh), ga napsu ngapa2in deh pokoknya.

G merasa bego banget, ini bukan g banget. G itu seharusnya ga boleh di kontrol sama siapapun ataupun apapun. Jadi g mencoba get rid semua pikiran2 dan kekhawatiran yang berkecamuk dalam benak g selama ini.
Hooii back to your sense please. Enough is enough Sko! Dont ruin your entire life because of this guy, which is you don't know much about him.
Go back to reality! Lu masih harus kerja untuk hidup lu dan keluarga lu!
Aahh rasanya kaya di tampar pas kesamber petir..
I have to go back to myself, old me, strong woman (but not do bong soon).
Because kita ga bisa mengandalkan orang lain, kita hanya bisa mengandalkan diri sendiri.

Jadilah malem ini g back to my old me, timeline walking at FB FOODWAR, terus nyesel2 sendiri karena jadi laper berat, pengen pecel pake bihun goreng dan bakwan goreng, dan makanan warteg.. oh tidaakkkkkkk saya lapaaarr..

Hasilnya? Ya lapar, tapi g mulai bisa mengalihkan pikiran g dari dia, atau g sekarang udah bisa mulai menerima bahwa klo nanti gak jadi sama dia, berarti g bukan yang terbaik buat dia, begitu juga sebaliknya dia bukan yang terbaik buat g.
Mo dipaksain kaya apa juga gak bakalan bisa kan?
Ah, mulai pinter kan g? Dari dulu sih, cumen sempet mendadak bego pas kenal dia.

Masih banyak sih yang mao g omongin, tapi ini mendadak ngantuk abis makan incidal..
Lanjut besok yah..

Good night good people!
Inget jangan jadi bego klo suka sama orang.
Stay positive!